http://www.dwell.com/
Oh, and two years of Vogue, too.
http://www.vogue.com/
Happiness delivered to my doorstep? Yes, please.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Subscription: Renewed
Two years of Dwell coming my way.
http://www.dwell.com/
Oh, and two years of Vogue, too.
http://www.vogue.com/
Happiness delivered to my doorstep? Yes, please.
http://www.dwell.com/
Oh, and two years of Vogue, too.
http://www.vogue.com/
Happiness delivered to my doorstep? Yes, please.
Monday, September 20, 2010
No Regrets
Live life with no regrets. That's what they always say, right?
Well once again I've really learned the value of an idea through my own experiences.
This Summer has done many many things for me and deciding to leave my former job, Santa Barbara, and my life there for a few months has really paid off. I find myself at the end of this Summer a little bit closer to knowing who I am, knowing who the people around me are, and what I want out of life.
A lot of things changed this Summer.
I left Orange County a few years back with the goal that I would never come back. That's why making the decision to come home was difficult for me—but it was only for a few months. It's not as if I'd been disconnected from my family and never wanted to return: it was really all about the place. I hated Orange County with a passion when I left it. The people, the culture, and the way of life do not mesh with me very well. Being in Santa Barbara for two years reminded me a few of the reasons I liked Orange County. Despite it being undesirable in so many ways, the weather, the lifestyle, and the people hadn't changed much: basically, if I ever wanted to go back, I'd know what to expect and my family would always be there. Being back in Orange County this Summer reminded me, once again, that I absolutely cannot function there for extended periods of time. I spent most of this Summer working, driving, and dealing with hot weather. My life felt dry, boring, and monotonous. The few good experiences I had in Orange County were brief and with my family. All the other good times this Summer were in LA, Santa Barbara, Tehachapi, Palo Alto, San Francisco, Eureka, and Portland. My family is the only reason I'll go back to Orange County... and I think after this Summer, I'll probably never go back for very long.
This Summer I learned a lot about the people around me. Whether or not I really give UCSB any credit, I have grown a lot as a person over the last few years I've spent in Santa Barbara. With this new perspective I've gained, it was strange to re-experience many of the things I did in childhood as an adult. Basically, I am extremely lucky and thankful to have a great father, mother, and brother. The rest of the family can be complicated, but there's no need stressing over trying to keep up with everything and solve everyone's problems—I have a big family.
This Summer, I moved out of the house I grew up in. The driveway, the yard, the front gate, the living room, the tiles, the fruit trees, the fireplace, my bedroom, the memories. I really didn't think it'd be difficult after not living there for so long, but it's amazing how attached us humans can become to a place. I'll never wash my car on the driveway again, or take my dogs on a walk in that park, or look out across the street when it rains and watch the gutters fill up with water until it looks like it's going to flood. I'll never get to finish painting the front gate, or putting on the baseboards. That part of my life is over.
This Summer was a transition for a lot of people.
This Summer I learned what I really want. I want to create. I want to love. I want meaning in my life. I want to be honest.
I will not tolerate negative energy in my life.
I also need to learn to forgive people that just don't understand but have true intentions. Life is too short to not forgive the people that matter—but sometimes there are people that aren't worth finding reasons to forgive. And that's okay.
I was thinking recently about all the things I'd like to go back and change in my life that would have made things easier. But would I be the same person I was today if those things didn't happen to me? Definitely not. Now I am happy for my past—all the good things and the bad things. What is laying in the not-so-far-off future makes it all seem worth it. None of the bad things matter when they've made you a better person and given you something to look forward to.
Basically, it feels like this huge chunk of my life is coming to an end, and I'm pretty sure that chunk is childhood. My world has been pretty small up until this Summer, but now, it feels like it has expanded exponentially. The future is now, and it couldn't feel better. I am truly an adult now, and I'm proven that.
I'm thankful to everyone who has helped me get to where I am. Now it's time to create my own life and achieve what I really want to. For the first time, it doesn't feel very far away.
Well once again I've really learned the value of an idea through my own experiences.
This Summer has done many many things for me and deciding to leave my former job, Santa Barbara, and my life there for a few months has really paid off. I find myself at the end of this Summer a little bit closer to knowing who I am, knowing who the people around me are, and what I want out of life.
A lot of things changed this Summer.
I left Orange County a few years back with the goal that I would never come back. That's why making the decision to come home was difficult for me—but it was only for a few months. It's not as if I'd been disconnected from my family and never wanted to return: it was really all about the place. I hated Orange County with a passion when I left it. The people, the culture, and the way of life do not mesh with me very well. Being in Santa Barbara for two years reminded me a few of the reasons I liked Orange County. Despite it being undesirable in so many ways, the weather, the lifestyle, and the people hadn't changed much: basically, if I ever wanted to go back, I'd know what to expect and my family would always be there. Being back in Orange County this Summer reminded me, once again, that I absolutely cannot function there for extended periods of time. I spent most of this Summer working, driving, and dealing with hot weather. My life felt dry, boring, and monotonous. The few good experiences I had in Orange County were brief and with my family. All the other good times this Summer were in LA, Santa Barbara, Tehachapi, Palo Alto, San Francisco, Eureka, and Portland. My family is the only reason I'll go back to Orange County... and I think after this Summer, I'll probably never go back for very long.
This Summer I learned a lot about the people around me. Whether or not I really give UCSB any credit, I have grown a lot as a person over the last few years I've spent in Santa Barbara. With this new perspective I've gained, it was strange to re-experience many of the things I did in childhood as an adult. Basically, I am extremely lucky and thankful to have a great father, mother, and brother. The rest of the family can be complicated, but there's no need stressing over trying to keep up with everything and solve everyone's problems—I have a big family.
This Summer, I moved out of the house I grew up in. The driveway, the yard, the front gate, the living room, the tiles, the fruit trees, the fireplace, my bedroom, the memories. I really didn't think it'd be difficult after not living there for so long, but it's amazing how attached us humans can become to a place. I'll never wash my car on the driveway again, or take my dogs on a walk in that park, or look out across the street when it rains and watch the gutters fill up with water until it looks like it's going to flood. I'll never get to finish painting the front gate, or putting on the baseboards. That part of my life is over.
This Summer was a transition for a lot of people.
This Summer I learned what I really want. I want to create. I want to love. I want meaning in my life. I want to be honest.
I will not tolerate negative energy in my life.
I also need to learn to forgive people that just don't understand but have true intentions. Life is too short to not forgive the people that matter—but sometimes there are people that aren't worth finding reasons to forgive. And that's okay.
I was thinking recently about all the things I'd like to go back and change in my life that would have made things easier. But would I be the same person I was today if those things didn't happen to me? Definitely not. Now I am happy for my past—all the good things and the bad things. What is laying in the not-so-far-off future makes it all seem worth it. None of the bad things matter when they've made you a better person and given you something to look forward to.
Basically, it feels like this huge chunk of my life is coming to an end, and I'm pretty sure that chunk is childhood. My world has been pretty small up until this Summer, but now, it feels like it has expanded exponentially. The future is now, and it couldn't feel better. I am truly an adult now, and I'm proven that.
I'm thankful to everyone who has helped me get to where I am. Now it's time to create my own life and achieve what I really want to. For the first time, it doesn't feel very far away.
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