Santa Barbara has been lonely this summer.
Sometimes I wish I could return to the life I had before I left LA: I feel like I had things together so much more then. I felt like I could accomplish anything. But now everything around me seems to be falling apart. Even the things about myself that I thought would never change seem to be changing. It's like I don't even know myself anymore.
I miss waking up at 5:00 am and watching the sun rise over a cup of coffee and a history book.
I miss my friends from home.
I miss my family.
I miss my house.
I miss my stupid little Orange suburb.
I feel empty and nothing in Santa Barbara seems to be able to fill that void.
I'm dropping Summer Session B. I need some time to find myself and for change. I'm done with the way things have been in my life.
I just keep working and working and working and I finally can't take it anymore. I need to learn to enjoy life while I still have the youth to enjoy it.
Change will come and it will come soon.
I need to find the missing piece that will fill the void in my heart that has been empty for too long.
